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Santa Clause Gone Bad One side of me wonders how a man I thought I loved so much could do this to my beloved daughter. On the other hand, I loved Bill McReynolds and he is more important to me than JonBenet ever was. But it is easy to say that JonBenet was worth more and money is everything. How is it that I am having such mixed feelings at a time such as this? “Get yourself together Patsy”, I quietly say out loud to myself. This is a time for me to put on my best act, probably the best act I’ll ever put on. How long will this go on? It is already December 26, 1996, and I’ve only gone through two days of this lying, questioning, mass chaotic period and already I’m frankly just sick of it. I mean, am I a bad mother for writing the ransom note? As I sit here in the exact spot I left the ransom note, I can feel the grit from the unkempt, unswept softening wooden stairs. Reporters are surrounding me questioning me, cameras in my face, strangers everywhere. But I am blocking all of that out and all I can think about is one thing and that is how much I love my lifestyle and in order for me to maintain it, I need John Ramsey in my life. I am also thinking about how my true lover is Bill, but I can’t for the life of me decide if covering with the ransom note for him was doing the right thing. It seems like only yesterday Bill was in my home and things were normal. It is Christmas morning and an ordinary day in the life of the Ramsey family. JonBenet and Burke are running around the Christmas tree and chasing each other around our gorgeously decorated home. It was a beautiful day and although I longed for Bill, John and the kids were enough for the time being. It was like Bill read my mind, because in that moment there was a knock at the door all too familiar to my ears, and Bill knowing our hospitality towards him within seconds was in our living room without any of us having to get the door.
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