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I met the King Alcinous today, what a great man (not quite as great as me of course) wealthy! He had a great poet there, at his palace, telling all kinds of great stories. I should get a poet to write about my adventures someday, I'm great enough. It was wonderful to see all the banqueters having such a great time with the minstrel playing, luxurious food spread about them and a wonderful steward carrying the wine, filling any half empty cups. Everything was what I would call perfection! Then the King asked of my heroic journey, and suddenly my woes returned as I remembered all the men I had lost. I couldn't think where to begin or end, I mean there were so many great and horrific things I had experienced on my voyages. I thought I would start with the great man him self... ME. So I told the king and the rest of the hall my name. Just so they knew it. Of course so as to sound less modest I made some remark, like "I shall start by giving you my name: I wish you all to know it so that in the times to come if I escape the evil day, I may always be your friend," really I had no friends (their all dead) and thought that by doing this I may get about 30 friends in one go. The amazing thing is it worked! Shows how silky tongued I am! I also told him that my home was I Ithica, with its great mount Neriton. Of course I included that Ithica produced the finest men in the world, I, myself being the finest of the fine and that I am loyal to my wife. Just in case any of the lovely ladies took a fancy to yours truly. Memoirs of my journeys Meeting the Cyclops: Were on our way to Ismarus, my crew and I easily over took this place. Of course I shared the women food and gold equally between my men, which I thought was quite generous of me considering how much more powerful I am, after all I am Zeus' favourite. Soon it came to me that the Cicone people were planning their revenge against us. Alas my men would not listen. As Dawn rose fresh and rosy-fingered the Cicone's wrath was upon us. Six men from each ship died, the rest of us escaped, Zeus sent a storm of tremendous power straight on top of us. There was nothing we could do but bend our awes in the turbulent waters, to escape. We were sent off course past Malea and Cythera. For nine days we battled on through the storm and on the tenth ended up in the land of the Lotus-eaters. I sent three men, one messenger and two scouts, off to explore the small island. Not far into their trek they found the harmless Lotus-eaters, they were offered the fruit and willingly accepted and soon they were over come by the potency of the fruit and consequently forgot all about the crew and I. I set off to find them after they did not return. It was not long before I found the stupid men, munching on lotus plants. They had no memory of my crew, ship, the home or me. So I dragged the back to the ship, though they we very unwilling. When I reached the ship I dragged them onboard, tied them up and ordered the crew to embark and continue with the voyage. So we left the land of the Lotus-eaters and soon came to an island of Cyclops, a formidable creature that live by it own rules. Across from this island was another completely colonised by sheep alone. The Cyclops had no ships and so the sheep were left alone and survived at the fate of the gods, as did the Cyclops, being lazy buggers the let the god sew the grounds and the Cyclops never had to sew any seed, only harvest the foods the gods gave them, and shepherd the goats. As we sailed along the shore we saw flat land, which could be ploughed with such ease and soil, which was so obviously the most fertile I had ever seen. We found a harbour, which needed no moorings, only to beach the ship and leave the rest to the spirits and wind. So we landed and slept upon the beach, where the goats lived. When Dawn appeared, the Nymphs (children of Zeus) sent the mountain goats towards us. The moment we sighted them we grabbed our spears and bows and began to catch the game. Very soon we had enough for twelve sheep per ship and, for the wonderful favourite of Zeus, I got ten to myself. We dinned, at sunset, on fresh meant and mellow wine. We still had loads of that luxurious wine; we had stolen from the Cicones. After the feast we slept and awoke to the delightful Dawn. Myself and a selection of men set off for the neighbouring island of the Cyclops, leaving the rest of my followers to wine and dine on the goat infested island. It was not far to the island next door, on the way we noticed a great cave with a man made yard and penned sheep, surely it was the home of a giant. We saw the dweller of this huge abode, standing on cliff; it was not hard to miss the monster. I picked my twelve best men and took some of my finest wine, given to me by Maron son of Euanthes priest of Apollo, in a large goatskin and also took some food. The giant was very we organised it had baskets of cheese and bread large vats of wine. The lambs and kids were penned separated from the rest of the herd, and they were slit up into groups- spring ones the summer ones and the newly born. It had loads of high quality vessels; pails and bowls were all full of milk and whey. All my men wanted to steal the sheep, goats and cheese, but I refused. I was determined to stay and meet this being of such strength. As soon as I saw him, we all regretted staying. He entered the cave followed by a flock of sheep and goats. When they were all inside he penned the up and put the mothers with the lambs and kids. He closed the entrance (our only means of escape) of the cave with a slab of rock, which not twenty wagons could budge, with such ease. He milked the sheep and curdled the milk, took the whey and put it into a wicker cheese basket. He kept some milk aside for dinner, and once he had done his tasks he lit the fire and saw us.
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