|
|
It is difficult to imagine a braver act from a family than its entering into therapy as a group. I think it is fair to say that it would not be my family that takes such a courageous plunge. The prospect is fraught with fear for me, and I am probably the most likely member of my family to risk it. Risk it, indeed. It is not likely that my family would be willing to sit as a group in the presence of a professional that may have the ability to see through all the pretense and falseness, even lead us deeper onto the discomfort of it all. I am very impressed with the family in the book and the depths that they reached in examining and ultimately healing many of their issues. There is great discovery in guided exploration of families. The course can be painfully and hurtfully revealing. It can be shockingly revelatory in terms of history. Family therapy challenges individual and family relationships. Recovery is the hopeful outcome, but it is not always realized. Who in their right mind would want to sit for such an adventure? The family is our first group experience. Anxiety is an immediate part of merging into our families. There are many relationship possibilities: mother-child, father-child, sibling-sibling, mother-sibling, etc. There is ample opportunity for misunderstanding and disfunction to grow by conscious and unconscious means. We grow into dyads and triads, allegiances and conflicts. Frequently, our sense of self is lost in these relationships, and the resulting dynamics just make matters worse. It is in this imperfect “crucible” that our skills of relating and communicating to things outside of the family are formed. It is a sound approach to return to the hearth of the family in search of change and remedy when life spins out of control. Sound and reasonable is one thing, finding the willingness is another. When I consider the fear such an adventure engenders in me, the first thing that I am confronted with is the fear of getting honest. It is easy to talk about my mother, brother or sister in conversation with a friend or in individual therapy. Am I willing to say the same things, will my interpretation of family history be the same. if we are all together. My experience with my family as a group is one of cordial tolerance. We all seem to keep a safe and respectful distance from anything too emotional. It is not that there are great problems amongst us, but what there are could certainly use some attention. Is it a family rule to tread softly, not ruffle feathers? Family therapy can help us break down the old rules, # see them for what they did and what they currently are, and make adventurous changes.
|
