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The Frustration of learning who you are.
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March 7, 2003 The Frustration of Learning Who You Are In some of the early American Indian cultures when a young man reached the age of adulthood the men of the tribe took the young man off into an unknown region of the wilderness, without food, and there the young man would be left alone as he fasted and waited for the spirits to give him a vision; for the vision contained the secret to his destiny. The vision would give him an identity. The vision would determine what his name would be for the rest of his life. Once his vision had come, the young man could return to the tribe and take his place as an adult. The process was frightening, lonely, and frustrating, but it held the secret to what the young man would become. While our culture doesn’t have a process such as this, there is still a process that every young man or woman goes through as they leave their teenage years and begin life as an adult. For some of us the process into adulthood seems to flow easily, for others it may be more uncivilized than that of the Indian culture. The process largely depends on the people who help to shape and guide you through this difficult journey. Most parents don’t stop to think that their words and their actions are helping to cast the vision for their child’s future. When a young person grows up with criticism and condemnation, it is very difficult for them to see themselves as a success. Someone once said, “What you see is what you get.” It is the vision within us that paints the portrait of our future. How we see ourselves. How we think that other people see us. What I like about the Indian culture is that the young man went alone and the vision he received for himself determined his identity. No one placed a label upon him. His future depended on how he saw himself. The process into adulthood is a long journey that begins in the early years of our lives and even then it is painful. You are five years old when your thrown into a whole new world. You are use to the normal events of life: waking up late, playing with your toys, and maybe even going to the store with mom. Then, all of a sudden, you find your self in a kindergarten, with a teacher and a group of kids you have never seen before. After a while you begin to like going to school and playing with your new found friends. You begin to form a new daily routine. By second or third grade you are use to going back to school every August and seeing your friends. You come to expect and anticipate Christmas break, and finally the incredibly awesome summer break. It all becomes second nature. Then one day you realize that your about to start your first day of junior high.
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