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Single Mothers and the Troublesof Parenting on Your Own.
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Abstract Over the years the rate of single mothers has increased due to the wide spread acceptance of the trend. The pain and struggle of trying to raise a child on ones own is extremely difficult. Many young single mothers to be and ones who accept this way of living haven’t thought about the whole predicament of becoming or being a single mother. There are many factors to consider such as the child’s well-being, income, emotional support, which person is going to play the role of the father and many other factors. The dilemma is that single mothers need to be made aware of the many consequences of either subjecting themselves to become a single mother or being subjected, so that they may be able to prevent and or improve their situation not just for themselves, but also the children. Single Mothers and the Troubles of Parenting on Your Own. Do you like the freedom of being able to come and go as you please? How do like to be able to do things that you enjoy? I know that I like to be able to spend my money on things that I want and things that I want to do. That just isn’t the case for many families in America. In the United States, there are staggering number families that are single parent families. Single parent families are becoming more widely accepted as time passes; even I come from a broken home. Though single parent families are made sometimes through divorce, the more severe case is women becoming single parents out of wedlock. Sawhill says that while only thirty percent of all non-marital births are to women under the age of twenty, half of first non-marital births are to teenagers and most of the rest are to women in their early twenties (2002). This means that typically most single parents start when they are either a teenager or are in their early twenties. There is nothing saying that all these single mothers will be bad mothers, but that doesn’t mean that things will be easy for them to handle. On average, most young parents do not know exactly how to raise their children correctly or have many problems learning how to properly raise their children. Children generally pay the price for either the negligence of the single parent or of being subjected to having a single parent family for adverse reasons; sometimes single parents are made by uncontrollable reasons such as death of family member. For these reasons, there are ways around becoming unknowledgeable, incompetent single parents. Single mothers can find out a lot of information by doing reading or just talking to other well learned single mothers. Darnel has ten wonderful tips to help with being the best single parent a person can be. Adjustment of attitude, the parent is the boss, deal with overload, realize that you are only one person and you are doing your best, create a stable and nurturing home, establish schedules and routines, take care of yourself, develop reliable support system, do not treat child as a peer, and have realistic expectations (n.d.). These tips are wonderful and very logical ways to move towards the better single parent categorization. Thinking of the children that will be subjected to being in a single parent family is the main concern for women who think that they want to do without the father or are going to be forced into dealing without the father. Even coming from a broken home myself, I have had many difficulties dealing with life and family. In my opinion, women should think more about the children and what it is that the children will be forced to deal with in life. My parents got divorced when I was in middle school, so there for a while I had lived with my mother, she would be considered a single mother that was forced to become one. Though parents get divorced and remarried typically, children tend to perceive themselves as having a single parent family. When I was enforced into the situation of becoming a child from a broken home, my life flipped upside down. There are many troubles that plague children of single parent homes, but that also means that there are many trials and tribulations that the single parents go through. Single mothers face many troubles when trying to raise a child or children on their own. Acceptance of Single Motherhood A great concern that families of the present should worry about is the wide spread of acceptance of women bearing children without being married. Sawhill says that most children who come from a single parent family tend to live poorer lives, excel at low levels in school and will enter adolescence with a predisposition repeat the past mistakes of their parents’ youthful tendencies (2002). Of course this would be a hasty generalization if it was stated that all single parent family children grow up to become screw ups, but that is wrong not all children will have the same misfortunes. The problem is that the probability of the children succeeding is considerably lower than a child who came from a two parent family as it should be for all children. Finding the Right Man There is a flaw in the process of trying to fill that void in a single parent family; there is a tendency for the single mothers to have problems finding the right man. There aren’t very many men in the United States who actually want to get married to a single mother; the adjustment for the child or children is very tormenting and stressful. When my mother started to date again, my feelings were of great hatred for the guys that she would date, even the man who is my stepfather to this day. Children do not grasp the idea of their parents being divorced, daddy dying or “why does all the other kids in my class have a daddy and I don’t?” There really isn’t a substitute for a father, but there have been some incidents where there were great substitutes for the original.
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